God made me a really emotional person. I must go through more moods a day than anyone else on earth. I go from laughing to crying, from rejoicing to defeated, 100 to zero in a matter of seconds. But because that happens, I'm made stronger. I'm not like your average depressed teen: I don't cut, I don't run away, I don't turn to drugs or alcohol. My release is in writing. I put emotion into what I write because I can't find a better way. Some people cut or do drugs to mask over the pain. I'm not into that. I don't want the pain to stay in me, I get it out. Like the Relient K song "Let it all out, rip it out, remove it. Don't be alarmed when the wound begins to bleed." When you put your emotion on the table, it's gonna be a little while until you can cope with it. But Jesus is there to heal all wounds. Hand your troubles to Jesus, he cares that much for us that he'll take the suicidal thoughts, the anger, the pain you feel away. 1Peter 5:7 say to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." They don't want to look down from the Heavens and see you crying or to see the blood pour out from the razor cuts. Jesus will take that from you without hesitation. Lamentations 3: 19-24 goes like this "I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him'" Jeremiah wrote that because he was so sad that he couldn't help the city of Babylon. He was basically depressed about that. But he kept hope because he knew the God was there for him. He knew that God wouldn't let him stay in such sorrow, that he would persevere through it all. When times are bad and you feel like giving up, remember Jeremiah. He might not have gone through the same thing as you, but he knew depression but still held his faith. He's an amazing prophet that we can learn a lot from. A friend of my dad's wrote to me saying that death is permanent and it's not worth it AT ALL. What we go through is such a small fraction of our lives that might just fade into memory. If you've overcome awful situations, anything at all, I'd love to listen. When no one else cares, you've got me and Jesus.
Singing Praises,
Emily
If I were me then I'd be right where I am.
11 years ago
2 comments:
your words are so true, you have a very good understanding of the bible that alot of adults don't have. Keep your faith & God, he is there through it all.. I, like you, deal with pain through writing poems. It helps me deal with the pain & others can see what I am going through. I started writing them a year ago after my brother was killed, I hope one day his son can read them & remember his dad & know what we went through. He is to young to understand most of it, but I never want him to forget his dad.. God bless you & your family Emily.
i love you emily :]
you are such a talented writer
alexis
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