A needle in the haystack of life

There are sometimes when I want to jump out a window, walk out in front of a moving car, or sometimes just to slam my head into a wall and hope I don't wake up. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, but I feel so alone at the same time. Nothing seems to go right and all the things I love are 750 miles away. Sometimes I wish someone would just shoot me so I don't have to deal with this stuff anymore. But then I think that it would hurt so many people if any of that were to happen and how God has a plan for my life. I got this E-mail that said that sometimes it seems like God gives you stuff you don't need. But God knows exactly what you need and he would give you anything you don't. Sometimes it looks like it's wrong, but in reality it's right. You have to search for the light through the darkness. It may be one teeny tiny speck of light, but you'll eventually find it. Sometimes it could take days, weeks, or months. As long as we look for the good, things get better. If you feel like giving up, think about others and think about the good that is somewhere inside you and around you.
"You're invincible until God is through with you"- Justin Lookadoo

A shoulder to cry on

She looks to the ground as people walk by
With stares of pity and a heart on the floor
She just wants to go home
To live freely and to fly
To be not afraid to live or to die
Only few people her know her by her heartS
he wishes everyone could understand
The pain she felt when taken away
She hurts to much and she can't even say
What is on her mind, the pain that blinds
That she would rather be anywhere but here
Even to die

I'm here to say that even the strongest people need help sometimes. It's like the Roman Empire, it was great for a long time, but it eventually fell. To stay strong all the time is sometimes a lot to ask for. When someone needs you, be there for them. Don't think that you have better things to do, because the best thing you could be doing is talking to them and helping them out of the hole that they're in. To have friends, you need to be a friend. Friends help each other out when you feel so much pain, when you feel like dying. Without them, I don't know where I'd be right now. Be thankful for the people in your life, don't ever take them for granted.

A smile from you makes the sun shine on a cloudy day
And makes all of my troubles melt away
When you smile, you seem to glow
And I have yet to see that face go
When times are hard, you look to the Light
And you fight the bad with all of your might
I wish I could always be just like you
And to be not afriad to smile true

Don't you dare judge me

Today's generation, in my opinion, is the most judgemental. We're separated into cliques and we don't like anyone that's a little different. If they can't be just like us, we don't like them. There's something majorly wrong with that, but I'm as guilty as the next person. Mathew 6:21 says this: " Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use it, it will be measured back to you" Nobody wants to be judge. If you do... that's kinda weird. If you don't want people to judge you, quit judging them. God is the only one that can judge accordingly, he's the only one you should listen to and all. That jerk who is surrounded by 15 other people and calls you all of these name... they don't matter. God has even told us in Mathew 10 that persecutions are coming. In verse 26 it says that "Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known" God knows their hearts, and he knows yours. Whoever said that words will never hurt you didn't really know what they were talking about. Being judged hurts. But God is there to help you out when you out after words are thrown around. He's always there.

Eggs.... yes eggs.

A week or so ago, I was sitting in Biology doing a lab called "Psychedelic Milk" which has nothing to do with what I'm going to tell you. But everyone knows that you need a setting. So somehow, we get on the subject of Easter eggs and how the color somehow makes it on the inside of the shell. Haven't you ever wondered how that is? It's because the shell has pores. The yolk of the egg is the chicken, right? Wrong. The whites of the egg are actually the beginning of the chicken! I was totally surprised 'cause it was just plain weird to me. But the yellow part of that egg is where the little chicken white thingy gets energy and all. It's not connected to it's Mamma like we are, ya know? Bet you never thought of that. The chicken thingy pulls stuff from the yolk to live and develope. The chicken kinda becomes what was in that yellow gunk. That's how people should be. Our inside should match our outside. I don't mean we should be all squishy and slimy on the outside. I mean that who we are inside should be projected outward. Thinks tend to go askew when who were are inside is totally different from how people see us. You need to together. Like the egg, we need to become one whole person with one personality. If you have a multi-personalities... pull yourself together... When you act different then how you feel... think eggs. Whatever is inside needs to be part of who you are, whether you like it or not.

It's kinda neato

"For everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill,

And a time to heal;

A time to break down,

An a time to build up;

A time to weep,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,

And a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace,

And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain,

And a time to lose;

A time to keep,

And a time to throw away;

A time to tear,

And a time to sew;

A time to keep silence,

And a time to speak;

A time to love,

And a time to hate;

A time of war,

And a time of peace."

-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

That's my favorite Bible verse. It's kinda self explanatory. I'll leave it for you to interperate. But it's one of the best things I've ever read. It fits my life, and I think many others.

I love 4 year olds

I was over at my Aunt and Uncle's house today, and me and my cousin are playing hide and seek, Which is pretty amazing with her. :D But the last place I hid was under the bed. They looked everwhere else, then Kate just leans over and goes "I found you!" Then she crawls under the bed with me telling me that I should take a nap because it was cozy under there. Then she asked me if I was going with Mandy to live with my Dad in Kentucky. I explained to her that my mom doesn't want me to live with my Dad, and that I didn't know why. Kate said that I should be able to, and that she wanted me to be happy. I wish other people could have to view of a four year old. When happiness was all that really mattered. If she wants me to be happy, then why doesn't my mother who has a much more complex mind than my cousin. I love Kate so much. She understands me more than my mother, which may seem strange. I say be like a 4 year old, and value happiness more than your prejudices.

Put on the Armor of God

So I'm sitting in my HOPE (Health Opportunities thru Physical Education) class reading my Bible and all. In 1 Thessalonians, while searching for the "Pray without ceasing" verse (1 Thess. 5: 17 if you were wondering) I stumbled across this: "Let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope and salvation"- 1 Thessalonians 5: 8. That's some pretty sweet stuff there. Without faith, love, hope, and savlation... we don't really have anything. Those things sustain us and help us to carry on with our lives. Those are the building blocks of all we have, Jesus is our foundation. If you believe in God, those things are kinda nessasary in my opinion. You haveto have faith in Him, You have to love Him and one another, you have to have hope for everyone and believe that you can help, and lastly you need the salvation given to us through Jesus Christ. It's pretty neato if you ask me. All of that protects us from the hate of this world, it helps us work through all of the bad stuff that happens. It's your choice to put on the armor, God's not going to make you. Remember that God's armor is always there to protect you.

It's doing nothing for your soul

Okay, the other night I was looking for something to wear, but all of my jeans were dirty from my lack of laundry washing... So I go to my sisters room to borrow something. She's like a twig, but all of her jeans are my size, because she's weird like that. Anyway, I found a great pair of jeans that would go over my big hips. BUT... I bend over to pick something up... and the seat of those jeans ripped. A hole about the size of my hand too. Now that makes a girl feel big. You might be wondering why I would tell you this, since it obviously is kinda embarrassing.... I don't really care. I spent a good hour calling myself fat and wishing I was a size 4 instead of a size 9. It was bring me down in all ways: Spiritually, physically and emotionally. Then my sister who was reading a Justin Lookadoo book read a Bible verse he put in it. Romans 8: 16-17. It talks about how we are children of God, and so heirs of God. Since he is the King of Kings... we must be princes and princesses. And when princess rip their jeans, the king makes it okay. And then no one really cares. If you make a big deal out of ripping your jeans, then everyone else does. But calling yourself fat really isn't solving anything at all. It's hurting you, in fact. God made you a certain way, and he love you no matter what you look like. Psalms 139 13-14 says this: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" God created you as a work of art, and calling yourself and others fat and stuff like it is making fun of his creations. True beauty starts in your heart. Faith makes you a beautiful person, inside and out. And God's love makes your beauty glow. He looks past whats on the outside to our hearts. So even if its a rip in your jeans because you have a big butt or if it's a zit in the middle of your forhead, remember that you are loved always by a King and a Father.

They don't call it the Golden Rule for nothing.

The easy definition for empathy is having compassion for others. We should be required as human beings to have it, but it's a choice we have given by God. So many people really couldn't care less about what they say about others, or how they treat them. You want people to treat you with respect... am I right? It goes both ways though. Mathew 7:12 says: "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets" It's the Golden rule. You have to treat them the same way you wanna be treated. So if you're treating them like poop... they're gonna do the same. Poop for poop. But if you're being the better person, maybe you should let them know. Be like "Hey, I treat you good, so what's your deal?" they could tell you... but more than likely they won't, so some prayer about this couldn't hurt. Maybe they treat everyone like that because their life at home is all icky... it happens, so pray for them.
Maybe you like totally dislike the person. I know how it goes... take my word for it. Luke 6: 27 says this: "But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you" That's totally deep. God wants us to love everyone, and have compassion for everyone... even that chick at school who keeps making fun of your shoes. Or that guy who keeps calling you scrawny. Do nice stuff for people... it could change their life.